Never have I ever… done anything but run

Okay, so here’s the thing. I’ve never actually killed anyone before and this includes the undead. I mean, in a very literal sense, being undead just means that you are not dead. It’s not that I am completely opposed to killing zombies (more than they already are). But, I’ve just not had a need to yet. For one thing, I’m faster than them, and for another, I don’t live in a very densely populated part of town to have to worry about being surrounded by them. If I see a zombie, I simply run or hide.

 

 

They’re also lousy at playing hide-and-seek because, they’re really stupid, and they can’t smell me out when I hide because they don’t have a great sense of smell. Think about it, they stink more than everything else around them. I mean, a bloodhound would have trouble smelling through that much funk. And besides, they’re still people. Compared to the entire animal kingdom, we suck at smelling. So, dead rotting people can’t smell any better than you might expect they would.

 

They do however have okay vision, and they mostly hunt by sight and sound. But again, expect zombies to be less sharp depending upon their amount of decrepitude. If your eyes are gone due to decay you can’t see. It’s that simple… but there is something odd about the zombies here in Deadtown. I’ve never met a blind zombie. In fact, I’m not sure why they can still move at all. Most animals go belly up in days from methane bloating. Hmm?

 

Okay, that’s a creepy thought. Is there something supernatural going on here? Maybe, aliens? Reality TV? …anyhow, what do I need if I have to fight my way out of a tight situation? Maybe I need to rent some martial arts movies while I’m out too? In the meantime I think I need some kind of armor. What do the Joneses have in the attic that I can use?

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