So, like I expected, Mr. Jones didn’t have any useful sports equipment to help me against zombies. I guess with only having little girls he wouldn’t have grown-up sized football pads or hockey masks or anything. But, I did find this rusty old, I’m guessing, miner’s helmet! Sure it weighs a ton but at least it’s something. If nothing else it might make for a good smashing type weapon.
I also scoured the house for weapons, and though I found rifles I think I’m going to skip on those this trip. Like I said, zombies seem to have decent hearing and even my uncle Jerome could hear a gunshot from a distance. So I think I will try not to draw every zombie from miles around to investigate how tasty I am.
So I looked in the next best arsenal I could find on the farm… The kitchen. So here are my choices. I found this heavy wooden rolling pin, a cast iron pan and this psychotic looking old cleaver. What the spikey end is for I couldn’t say but if zombies could be afraid of its menacing meat tenderizer looking end they would be… huh, a meat tenderizer? Is that what that spikey end is used for? Either way, it’s creepy and dangerous looking. “Look out dead meat. You’re not so tough now are you?”…hmm.
So, it looks like I have some choices to make. What would be my best weapon of choice to take into town for protection?
A. Rolling Pin
B. Cast Iron Pan
C. Cleaver
ALIve IN DEADTOWN 
I like your sense of humor….you should have off the walll choices ..cupcakes, pretzels and black coffee…
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I’m a single guy with no real discernable skills who’s hiding out in a farm house that’s fully stocked, and though I have the supplies I have no baking skills. So cupcakes would just be more like me throwing flour and eggs… although… hmm, flash poof bomb? (A.k.a. a handfull of flour in the face.) I like the way you think voice in my head.
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I knew this one guy who was in Africa for a year that read The Joy of Cooking from beginning to end. I can’t remember him being a backer though…The only reason I can bake is that I had 8 brothers that would eat anything warm set in front of them.It gave me courage. and to your other comments -thanks…Actually aren’t pancakes a form of baking?
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Hmm, if you can bake on a stove top then I guess pancakes would be categorised as baked goods. But somehow I wouldn’t suspect it was… As for the joys of cooking I think I’m a wizard in the kitchen. I can turn hamburger into Gaines Burgers. (That’s dog food in case you don’t remember it.)
Well, voice in my head. I wish there was still internet to research the whole baked in a pan theory. Thanks zombies for taking away my internet porn… ehm, I mean Wikipedia.
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