Rolling pin, cast Iron pan or creepy cleaver?
Hmm, I think I’m going with durability this time out. And, though I have never smashed in the brains of a zombie before this heavy pan seems like the perfect weapon. I’m pretty sure brain smashing is the preferred zombie eradicating method. That’s what they do in all the movies. Plus, these guys are also durable. I mean, to a limited extent, they survived things that would kill most people. Like being eaten alive for one thing, and then getting up for a meat snack themselves. You know, if they would just eat each other or themselves that would have saved everyone a whole lot of trouble. But I guess the undead can recognize their own as not so good eating. What does that say for the moral fiber of cannibals if even the undead won’t eat each other.
Speaking of eating, this pan would make for some awesome pancakes before I go. Hmm, are pancakes considered baked goods? Ah, if only the internet was still working to check that tasty bit of trivia out. Unfortunately, once the outbreak started that was amongst the first things to go. I’m guessing the CDC didn’t want us to know how truly screwed we were. First it was the TV and then the internet. At least they left us with power. The town is powered by hydroelectricity from the dam in the next county. So either it was a courtesy, oversight or complication but I am thankful for still having power either way. There is a generator on the property here if needs be… but I’ve never actually had to use a generator before, but it can’t be that hard to use, right? If only I had the internet to look it up.
Mmm… pancakes do sound good right about now, even if they are made with powdered eggs.
Okay, so I got some durable armor and a durable weapon. Now I need transportation. The video store is about 4.5 miles away. I can walk but it is a bit far. That’s about 9 miles with the up-and-back. There is a truck here… but, I don’t know where Mr. Jones put the keys. I’m kinda worried I might have buried him with them still in his pocket, and I have no idea on how to hotwire a vehicle. It looks easy enough on TV. You twist two wires together and voilà… but in reality I’m pretty sure I will take the brake lights and wire them to the radio. So, as I don’t have internet to research this either I guess I can go on the quad, or on one of the bicycles that are tied up out back. With the quad it would be a quick and easy trip, but it’s also loud and open. Maybe stealth is the best option because looking through a video store takes time to find what you really want or you end up with bad rushed choices like Howard the Duck. Yikes, that’s a part of my life I’ll never get back.
Okay, soon as I’m done with these pancakes I’ll make my choice on how to get there, and then it’s time to go to town on some zombies. Que maniacal yet highly nervous laugh… So, are pancakes baked goods if they are cooked in a pan? And what about donuts?
How should I get to town?
A. Quad (It’s loud but fast)
B. Bicycle (It’s quiet)
C. Walk (It’s a long-ish walk)