From pancakes to “Pancake”

Pancakes… Yum! Damn I’m good. I really don’t have any discernable cooking skills but I sure can make pancakes! You would think this skill could transfer to other baking tasks, but somehow I always seem to bake bricks. I’ve often thought of adding a wing onto the farmhouse made entirely out of brick bread, but that seems like a waste of flour and powered eggs. You know, when I was a child in school we once made paste out of flour and water but when I grew up I found that if you add eggs to the mix it makes bread and cake. So, where the hell does the glue go?


Anyhow, breakfast was awesome. Thank you very much self, but due to an oversight of how much heat a cast iron pan holds I now can’t handle the cast iron pan until it cools off and I somehow can’t imagine trying to wield it against zombies with a cow shaped oven mitt on.


So, I think I will take the bike today. It’s a little far but the stealth it would provide verses the noisy quad might help buy me the time I need to go into the video store and find what I need with minimal zombie hordes trying to beat the doors down. Though I have never killed any undead yet I think I can take out a few at a time with that heavy iron pan but not more than that.


Alright, what else do I need? I got my armored helmet, my weapon and transportation. I think that’s it. I guess it’s time to go to town before it gets too late. I wouldn’t want to be caught out there in the dark without a lantern… and maybe several heavily armed marines to watch my back.



Okay, so I have gone about 2 miles and I still can’t figure out what to do with this stupid pan! I’ve skipped past a half dozen shambles without much effort, which is nice, but I really should have worked out how to carry this stupid heavy crap on a bike first. First I tried tying the pan to the bike but that became a constant loud clanging as I pedaled and it left a few bruises to my shin as it bounced about. So then I tried holding it in my hand but that doesn’t make for easy steering. So, I opted to wear it around my neck for a while but that chafed really fast from the weight and friction burn. But finally I worked out a way to harness it to my hip by hanging a loop off my belt. Now I have a quick draw frying pan. Fastest pancake flipper in the west!


But as I strapped the pan to my hip I noticed a strange cat staring at the tail of a kite that got stuck in a tree. I mean it just sat there and didn’t seem to move the entire 10 minutes that I tried to figure out the logistics of the pan-hip strap. It never looked around even as I cursed at the pan. How does a cat not get eaten by zombies out here anyhow? Do they not eat animals? I could use a cat for company on the farm right? I could call ’em “Pancake” since it was the pan that brought me to ’em.



Take the cat home?





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